Disclaimer: Please acknowledge the author’s sincere efforts to Capitalize the ‘G’. He expresses regrets for any error to this regard that may have inadvertently crept in. Satire, if any, is purely accidental or could have rode pillion on the vehicle driven by the errors.
I wish to point out the kind of God which I shall be weighing. The apparent conceit of the last sentence may scandalize many religious folks.
To weigh GOD?! Blasphemy!
No. No. No. All that I am weighing is the idea of God as to weigh God itself would require me to believe in one.
People have different concepts of god including one which claims No God is a misconception. But the one which makes me cringe is captured in the vagueness of —‘invisible force’.
The chants that propose this are always greeted with cheers of approval in a pack of the devout, age no bar. Their logic? Well, there must be something controlling the world. Excuse me? Controlling? How could one deduce the all pervasive havoc to be ‘controlled’?
They may not know who god is; they may even concede that we may never know so for sure; yet they will happily concoct stories, images and ‘sacred’ customs to defend till death this God.
I shall completely overlook the adamant invisible force belief for it is just that— a belief. It has no evidence to back it up and no deduction ahead; an immobility that mobilizes the tongue of the thought-wise immobile.
The God I wish to talk about is the fatherly-figure, sitting up somewhere, keeping an eye out for us. This gives us 3 corollaries only one of which could be true:
1 God is a masochist with strong fetish for self mutilation so much so that He is inspired to yank out an eye and keep it beside for our venerating purposes. I see a potential religion in this.
2 What about the activity of the other eye! Either God is one eyed alien or…
3 Mysteriously, it suggests God has an independent eye movement. What now? A chameleon? A chamalien?
Surely God could never be a chameleon, right?
By the end, hopefully you’ll understand it isn’t a bizarre idea at all.
This God —as professed by many— has the capacity to intervene in earthly matters and it/she/he does so for our betterment. It is powerful, omnipresent, sentient and above all cares for us, humans —those who’ve made plastic a firearm and Kalashnikov an ornament, such lovely people we are.
From what I have heard, it keeps a log of all the good and bad deeds of each individual and treats them accordingly. I believe, to any person it is fairly visible that violence, hunger, death, rapes, murder, terrorism and Kamal R Khan are rather ubiquitous. Any curious person should wonder where that God is; why he is silent; what he is actually doing up there. Is the other eye directed to eve tease the angels? Is God a mere witness to this chaos? Does God enjoy the pedophiles artfully serving the mankind?
Okay. Time to get it out in the open. Pedophile and pediatrician are two DIFFERENT professionals. You get that God? Keep the children away from the former and bring the diseased ones to the latter.
Those who believe in God find refuge in clichéd statements that operate along the lines of —‘God works in mysterious ways’. To me, why the existence of God itself is not termed a mystery is a mystery in itself. Plus, these responses form a loop with the notion that God always acts for our betterment. Then, is our betterment a mystery? If so, for whom? God or us or both? Could it be us, unaware of what we really need due to the rampant materialism of the 21st century? If so, then wouldn’t praying be a bad idea as it is for an six year old to assist his Dad in purchasing Jeevan beema?
Could it be God? If yes then who assigned this puzzled almighty the God’s chair?
Could it both? If yes then, God help us!!
Nonetheless, believers cling onto these notions, gnawing on the discussion until it is left as dead as a dodo and not worth pursuing even to the rationalist. But I shall hold my horses as an attentive lad may point out my inferred sluggish God mayn’t be an obvious fail since a perfect world would be boring and dull if not Utopian. I myself wouldn’t favor such a perfect world but neither does it make a puppeteer-like God worth worshiping. There you have it. God, if there is one, can be best summed up as a puppeteer trying to amuse itself. I certainly am not laughing. Neither is Jihadi John. Was?. Or you could think of it as a parent who’s dumped his newborn bare and naked into this obscene world. What would this child think of his creator if he’s lucky enough to mature?
Would he weave imaginary bio data for his parents, extolling them? Pray to them? Of course not. He wouldn’t care two hoots for them. This is a far cry from the widely regurgitated belief that urges us to thank God for giving us a ‘perfect’ life, a joyous life, a blessed life. I say creation alone ain’t sacred and creation without care is sacrilegious.
When talking of God one cannot miss His effective ‘Bhagwan Vyaqti Vikas Yojana‘ that involves Praying. Lots of it. In times of distress people have advised me to deposit chants and praises and hymns in my prayer account. But why?
If you pray without working you’re a lazy schmuck. If you pray after working or —as you must’ve gauged from my tone by now— in spite of working then you’re implying God has commitment deficits or in short —God is the lazy schmuck.
I used to be asked to take part in Parivar Sung Puja during festivals to thank the almighty. For some strange reason that eludes me, such long sessions of supplication served as a throwback to my childhood years: a younger me overcome with maddening ecstasy on listening to the Pokemon theme song.
“Pokemon, (gotta catch them all) it’s you and me
I know it’s my destiny
Pokemon, oh, you’re my…” forget it.
I have since then dropped the Pokemon & the belief.